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Social Chameleon

By Adi Andreeva

April 5, 2024

The thing that puts an end to all fears is self-knowledge.

If a man is to wrestle with life at every moment, if he is to meet with all its (life) mysteries, complications, and surprises, he will have to be infinitely flexible, and therefore free from theories and prejudices.

When it comes to the art of making a deep impression, some are true masters. They easily transform their appearance, masking their true feelings and opinions to adapt to the expectations of the environment.

But this approach can come at a price in the long term,losing their true identity and self-esteem.

Society often pushes us to conform and agree... This fact is universally recognized.

However, we must not forget that true value lies in our individuality and not simply in the “image" to present.

A true personality exhibits the ability to appreciate the diversity and uniqueness of others, accepting them with all their unique perspectives and qualities. The authentic personality also stands out for honesty without compromising the own principles or giving in to the desire for social approval.

Mark Snyder, a social psychologist from the University of Minnesota, unfolds before us the phenomenon of the insatiable thirst for social approval.

He emphasizes that people who constantly transform their personality to meet the expectations of the environment often pay a high price.

Imagine day after day trying to play a role that doesn't match your true identity just to please the tastes of others.

This is not only exhausting, but also contradictory.

You live in constant conflict, trying to balance between your true self and the role you choose to portray.

So, you laugh when you don't feel joy, and you are obsessed with the desire for external recognition.

Moreover, this tireless attempt at social adaptation often leads to psychological exhaustion.

Becoming a social chameleon requires not just following social norms, but also being attentive to the subtleties of direct and indirect signals from others. He must demonstrate not only the ability to imitate, but also the unique ability to adapt.

Striving to always be the "right" person requires constant, precise observation of social dynamics and constant adjustment of behavior to achieve the desired outcome. They may even put their honor, principles, and even their personal value system at risk just to fit in with a group or gain approval.

With such a load, emotional exhaustion is almost inevitable ... . And at the most unexpected of times…

Each of us has faced a situation where we had to adapt and change our behavior.

(The chameleon effect is more often seen in INFJ personality type is the undisputed top 1 rarest personality type in the general population coming in at just 2%. INFJs are especially rare among men with only 1% of men qualifying as this personality type. It is slightly more common in women at around 2%. )

However, Dr. Mark Snyder insists that the “true path” to emotional well-being and wisdom is to become a "social zebra."

The explanation:

The zebra, regardless of the circumstances or those around it, keeps its stripes - a symbol of immutability and true identity.

Trying to be universally acceptable and fit every mold is often not only futile, but harmful.

Such behavior rarely contributes to long-term well-being and authenticity.

 

Shared with joy

A.A

Stob, Bulgaria