Emotions are at the heart of our motivation: they are our muses and because of them we continue to live even after great disappointments and emotional upheavals.
The opinion of psychotherapists is that emotions are a good thing, especially when over the years we learn to accept them, enjoy them, understand them and trust them.
Problems occur when we get caught up in painful emotions that prevent us from moving forward. In such crises, however, what will allow us to get back on our feet is the reminder that they may not be telling us the truth.
Sometimes we allow ourselves to be crushed by a feeling that is not real, but nothing can convince us otherwise. In fact, very often it turns out that we are guided by feelings that have nothing to do with the truth, we understand it too late - when we have already reacted emotionally and made a mistake.
This is why it is good to remember that emotions - no matter how strong they are - are not facts
Many things can trigger our emotional response – events in the present, incidents from the past, worries about an uncertain future. To all this we add our fantasies, illusions, ideas we have about ourselves, others and life, which make us unnecessarily unhappy.
And finally we add the emotions that are the result of misunderstandings, sometimes extremely stupid, but ruining us for days – consider this: "He looked at me badly, he probably doesn't love me anymore", which starts an endless torment that continues to this day , in which we see our beloved again and find out that he still loves us, and his bad mood from before was not because of us, but because of stress in their work.
Emotions – both positive and negative will never stop passing through us, uplifting, grounding and crushing us – for better or for worse, the trick is to learn to distinguish between those that are figments of our imagination and those that are not. which are genuine and verifiable.
Just because your boss or partner looks at you in an unpleasant way or speaks to you in a harsh tone does not mean that he or she is angry with you. Sometimes people are just experiencing their own moment, their own real or fake emotion, and their behavior has nothing to do with us, and on the other hand, it is possible that we ourselves perceive the messages wrongly. Unfortunately, all this can play a bad joke on us and we react unfairly, or wander around for days, completely convinced that our life has failed, and finally find out that this is not the case at all.
The best thing you can and should do is to check your emotions - not ignore them or suppress them, because then they will not cooperate with you.
Make sure you have a real reason to feel them by talking to (not questioning or judging) the people with whom your feelings are connected. You can also help yourself by looking for a second opinion of someone you can trust.
Learning to accept, enjoy, understand, trust and check our emotions is not easy, but it is worth the effort because it will save us from painful torment, often lasting longer than we can bear.
Is love a choice or an emotion?
Explaining this incomparable feeling is challenging.
Over the centuries, mystics, philosophers, and religious leaders have debated the question, but there is still much debate. This is one of those topics that has two different sides.
Many people believe that it is worth getting their heart broken just to experience love.
However, the main question is whether the relationships are the result of strong feelings or are they a choice. Love is a beautiful gift that we give to our partner, family and close friends. She represents a unique kindness and empathy that transcends human emotions.
Here are a few reasons why love is a choice:
Love is a commitment
Loving someone is a decision you make to be true to their heart. Not to be confused with infatuation. When we meet someone, we find attractive, it's a physical attraction, while creating lasting relationships is a choice.
A wise man once observed that we can't stop birds from flying over our heads, but we don't have to let them nest in our hair… In other words, we have control over our emotions and can't always blame the others.
Loving others is a choice
There's an old saying that says we can't choose our family, but we can choose our friends. Unless we believe in predestination and reincarnation, we have no way of knowing who our parents will be… Many of them probably wished they were born into a rich family.
Your friends are completely different.
Yes, we choose them based on our common interests. It is possible that after some time we decide that we have outgrown the friendship and part ways. Love for friends depends entirely on us. However, the saying is only true to a certain extent. Just because we're connected to people doesn't mean we're fully connected.
Love forgives everything
Forgiveness is also a choice. It is not a compelling emotion like empathy, and we offer it when we choose. It is an undeserved favor that benefits us just as much as it does the wrongdoer.
When someone says or does something that offends us, we automatically feel hurt and betrayed. These are emotions we don't choose. However, we can decide whether to forgive.
All people forgive countless times in their lives.
Forgiving someone does not mean we forgive and forget the offense. We choose to acknowledge the offense, forgive and to move on with our lives.
Love sets limits
Setting boundaries is another choice we make when we love. We and our partner value each other, but we set healthy boundaries. These rules define how we expect to be treated and vice versa. We choose what we are willing to do or not do for that person. For example, we may decide not to live in the same city as our family. We are still in a relationship but it is better to live apart. We may adore our children more than anything in this world, but they know what is allowed and what is not. Setting boundaries also allows us to value ourselves.
Love looks for the good in everything
Love does not make us so naive as to believe that people are perfect. We empathize with their imperfections. When there are difficulties in our relationships, we simply choose to be positive and look for the good.
Love is a strong urge
Some of our life decisions may be more important than others, but they are not as compelling as emotions. Even though we can't explain why we love someone, our heart and soul urge us towards them. Sometimes we may stay in an inappropriate relationship because our emotions keep the attachment going.
Loving the people in our lives is both an emotion and a choice.
Feeling is the motivation of the relationship, but we ourselves choose to develop with the particular person or thing…
Shared with joy
A. A
Stob, Bulgaria