Time passes so fast and you will not feel how years have passed and your children have grown up… So don't waste time and start building close, friendly and honest relationships with the kids right now.
Here is the very simple and sometimes very difficult "three minutes" rule.
But one that will help you a lot in this most important relationship parent - kid
No matter how much time you spend with your child a day, there are some special 3 minutes that are very important when communicating with your child and that will help you build a close relationship of trust with him.
If you start applying it, not only will you immediately notice the positive change in the relationship with the child, but the closeness and trust between you will be manifesting itself every day and it will be maintained in his teenage years and later in life.
What is the rule?
Always greet the child with great joy, interest and enthusiasm, as if you were meeting an old friend whom you had not seen for many years.
It always means literally at every meeting - whether you're coming home from work in the evening or jumping to the store in five minutes.
Even if you have not been with the child for only 10-15 minutes, something has happened in his life and he is ready to share it with you in the first three minutes of the meeting. Don't miss this moment, because everything the kid wants to share with you, the kid announces in these first minutes.
Also, do not look down on the child during this contact. Sit next to him or take him in your arms so that you are at eye level. Hug him and tell him how you missed being together, ask him with interest what happened while you were not together and show that this is very important for you. This is especially important when you come home at the end of the day or meet him from kindergarten. You may have observed parents impassively grabbing the child by the arm and leading the kid to the car, continuing to talk on the phone.
When you come home from work, immediately give all your attention to the child. As soon as you leave your coat on the hanger, go to him. You have a few minutes to sit next to him (think about it), ask him how his day went, and listen to him. Only then do dinner or engage with any other tasks ad talks. If you miss these first minutes and do not pay attention to the child, then he will follow you all night and look for contact. But remember that there comes a time when he will get tired of looking for attention and will close in on himself.
Psychologists have found that children who have not had the opportunity to share the events and experiences of their day when they grow up do not talk to their parents about even the most important things happening in their lives. Because they subconsciously remember that they are not interested in them and that what happens to them is not very important to their parents.
What matters is not the amount of time, but the emotional closeness and quality of the contact with the kids.
Sometimes ten minutes of soul to soul and warm conversation means much more to the child than a whole day spent with indifferent parents who are just physically present next to him, but are busy with their own things.
Yes, work and business commitments are important (we do everything for the sake of the children and their well-being!), But they are not happy about it at all.
Children are in dire need of communication with us, for them every moment of this communication is an important life example. So don't forget about the emotional fullness of the time spent together. This will build a warm relationship of trust and when the child becomes a teenager, you will not have problems with him.
"To be together"
Children and parents understand the concept of "being together" in very different ways. Sometimes for us, the adults it is enough for the child to just be with us while doing something at home or shopping, for example.
While for a child this means the parent looking him in the eye and to give him all his attention without transferring the messages to his phone or talking about any of his problems. Don't forget that! Children immediately feel when in communication if the parent has a more important priority than them and if this occurs very often Then they shut up and stop trusting the parent.
Of course, parents do not always have enough time to play with the children, but the minutes that are devoted to communicating with the children should really be for them.
Remember, everyone even the adults want not only to be listened to, but to be heard with all the shades of their emotions, to be felt and understood.
Place your heart with your child and your listening ear and no matter what else is happening around you - house to be cleaned, meetings to be held as is there a more important relationship in our existence than the one with our children?
Remember too: “There is hunger for ordinary bread, and there is hunger for love, for kindness, for thoughtfulness, and this is the great poverty that makes people suffer so much.”
- Mother Teresa
And
Frederick Douglass said that “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” And it's true. So better start today – some wonderful things start only with 3 minutes a day 😊 but their echoes are a lifetime …
Brought to you with Joy
A.A.
Stob, Bulgaria